hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
