your parents love me but you hate me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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