ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and she was petting her beer can
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
