You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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