pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
