That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
