First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
