Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
