the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
