Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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