I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
