my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
