so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
