She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
