Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
