This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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