I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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