It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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