Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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