my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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