i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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