I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
