Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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