that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
