do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
