Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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