Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
