i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
