From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
