her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
