Do you still have your period?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
