if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
