I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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