We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
