So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
