I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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