I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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