Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
