if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
