She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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