I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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