as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
