what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
