she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
