I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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