he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize
