i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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