sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
