Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
