dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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