Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
