it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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